10 Secrets to Finding Your Cat-Loving Soul Mate
You've found the perfect mate. There is just one problem ... cats aren't in their vocabulary. So what's a devout cat fancier to do? Just use these helpful hints to catch or keep the purr-fect soul mate, that special someone who connects with you and your cat's mind, body and spirit. Find Cat-Love Online: Connect with cat lovers from all over the nation by surfing personal ads on line. Or log on to a special area web site called Single Pet People at www.singlepetpeople.com (If you're not hooked up, call America Online 800-827-6364. It includes bulletin boards listing singles.)
SECRET #1: You Make A Cat Connection
If your potential mate picks up your love of cats, you'll know right away. "If you're a cat lover, there's a special place in your heart for cats. The buzz word 'cat' should trigger conversation," says Mark Goulston, M.D., a clinical psychiatrist in Los Angeles and co-author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again – and Stay There (Putnam). The result: you'll feel an instant warm and cozy bond.
But, what if he/she doesn't acknowledge cats? If there is a lack of cat talk, that is not a good sign. Somebody who doesn't make cats part of your initial chat may not want to be part of you or your cat's real life later on.
Your move..."Be fair, and also be wary," adds psychologist Lillian Glass, Ph.D., author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Men and Women (Macmillan). Don't be afraid to ask – "How do you feel about cats?" And then listen up. If somebody says they can't stand cats, run away, adds Glass, "because it'll never work."
SECRET #2: Your Match Digs Feline Stuff
Ever notice that when someone raves about your tiger or leopard print comforter or your Beatrix Potter Tom Kitten, that it feels sooo good? "It validates your taste," points out Glass.
Your potential significant other may find your cat collectibles silly, but if they mumble distaste for your Michael Leu painting "Fuzzy Got A Big Fish" or cat book "Meow Te Ching" by Meow Tzu, which are your prized possessions, it may be another red flag. But don't take offense right away. "If they're not crazy about your cat decor," explains Glass, "that doesn't mean they're not crazy about your cat."
SECRET #3: He/She Owns A Cat
While it's a good sign if your potential mate has a cat companion (or two), this isn't a must-have to make or break a cat-loving soul mate deal. If they don't have a cat, you have no worries about getting the kitties to get along. It also gives them the chance to embrace your cat.
SECRET #4: Your Cat(s) Loves Your Guy/Gal
"Animals sense when they are welcomed and when they are not welcomed," points out Goulston. Did your cat light up and purr when they first met eye-to-eye with your proper stranger? If so, you've got a ready-made family in the works.
But if your kitty acts clingy, restless or flees, you may be entering ailurophobe territory. Cats can pick up clues quickly that a man or woman is fearful or unsavory. "If your cat has a track record for sniffing out bad people or users – go with their sixth sense," says Goulston. If you're unsure about your cat's judgment, wait. It may take a while for kitty to chill. And remember, cats can be jealous and territorial. So during the courtship stage, spend extra quality time with your cat. And with prudence and patience, kitty could warm up to the two of you.
SECRET #5: Your Date Loves Your Cat(s)
When your new mate befriends your cat it's instant animal attraction. After all, our cats are an extension of ourselves. That means, he or she is accepting you (and your beloved cat) 100 percent.
Get a cat clue: Your date dislikes cats. However, If someone is indifferent, says Goulston, "there's a good chance that your cat's actions will be 'You can't fire me, I quit', and the cat will walk away."
SECRET #6: When A Cat Crisis Hits They're There
It's bliss to have another human being present during a cat catastrophe. "They're somebody that you can always count on in a pinch," says Glass.
Get a cat clue: Your mate is cat-insensitive. If your cat is sicker than a dog and your special someone is clueless – watch out. And what do you do if he or she goes AWOL when your cat is ailing from head-to-paw? "You have to go AWOL immediately," says Glass. "Your cat is part of your family. She's not just a stuffed animal." As a last attempt, she adds, you can try acknowledging his or her lack of passion during a cat crisis. And perhaps, this person may turn out to be another Good Cat Samaritan.
SECRET #7: Mr./Ms. Soul Mate Will Hunt For A Cat
If you've ever lost a cat you know the drill. In a purr-fect world, your soul mate would offer their physical and emotional support. It's a sure-fire sign that he or she knows the value of family in crisis, says Glass.
SECRET #8: Your Date/Mate Savors Cat Events
Cat births, birthdays, and cat shows are some of the favorite things that cat lovers live for. And if your mate understands that, "It bonds the two of you," points out Glass.
Get a cat clue: During good cat times you're solo. If your new or old love has absolutely no interest in cat events – it's another red alert. "It shows that they're not bonding toward the cat," explains Glass. And it also shows that your special interest in cat activities aren't of interest to that special someone.
SECRET #9: He/She Likes Furry Things
When a person is also fond of soft items (such as clothes and furniture) you can bet that you've got a sensual cat-lover in your paws. But if they don't, they may be non-sensual. Beware if your new interest scowls at the touch of stuffed animals or plush towels. "If they don't like soft, cuddly things that means their sensuality is in question," says Glass.
Your move ... Can you fix a non-sensual person? "You can surround yourself with more sensual things (fur and feathers). If it doesn't work, it tells you a lot about somebody that you may or may not want to get involved with," explains Glass.
SECRET #10: You'll Sense A Real Cat Lover
"If you're a cat lover you want someone who is optimally a cat lover," concludes Goulston, "but at the very least, someone who understands and accepts how passionate you are about cats." And if the "Love Me, Love My Cat" concept is working in your relationship, you've got a purr-fect fit.
Top Places To Meet Cat Lovers
Here are some ways to hook up with a cat-loving friend or lover – no matter what your age or gender.
Lend A Loving Hand: You can reach out with other cat-loving singles to help Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS), a volunteer, non-profit group that helps improve the quality of life for persons with HIV disease, by offering them support in keeping the companionship of their pets. For more information contact www.pawssf.org
Love On-the-Job: If you love cats, put your talents to work and hook up with other cat lovers through cat-related businesses, such as local pet shops or grooming salons. Or become a professional pet sitter. Contact Pet Sitters International (336) 983-9222 or www.petsit.com
Find Your Mate at a Cat Show: Access show calendars by logging onto the allpets Community/Resources section www.allpets.com/community Or check out The Cat Fanciers' Association' (CFA) web site to get an up-to-date list of upcoming CFA cat shows around the world – www.cfainc.org
Play the Personals: Take control. Place an ad rather than respond to one. Properly screen your ad respondents (and be honest about your love of cats). Run an ad in a specialty publication. Find a pet newspaper or magazine that includes personal ads.