10 Excuses for Your Dog's Bad Manners
By: Virginia Wells
Have you ever been embarrassed by your pet's behavior? Are you tired of the looks of disdain from family members and guests and wish you could come up with the perfect explanation? Here are just a few "excuses" you might find helpful during those uncomfortable, red-faced moments.
1. Your dog sniffs at your visitor's crotch.
a. He's getting so old. He meant to jump up and lick your face but he forgot to jump up.
b. I'm having him trained to search for bombs.
2. Your dog steals the roast beef off the counter.
a. I guess he was tired of waiting for us to stop chatting.
b. There must have been something wrong with the meat. He eats anything questionable so we don't get sick. (Funny, it is usually the meaty main course.)
c. Hmm, I thought that beef may have been a little "ripe" anyway – just as well.
3. Your dog gets out of the yard and tears up your neighbor's garden.
a. He's already caught three groundhogs over there!
b. Oh, no! Spot wouldn't do that.
c. He must really feel at home in your yard.
4. On your daily walk, your dog lifts his leg on your friend's prize roses. a. I read somewhere that urine has a protective effect on flowers.
b. He thought your flowers looked dry.
c. Roses are his favorite flowers.
5. Your dog jumps on little Aunt Millie at the front door.a. Such a sweet doggie. He loves his Aunt Millie and can't get enough of her.
b. Now don't spoil her, Aunt Millie!
6. Your dog sheds and most of the hair lands on your guest's black trousers.a. What great pants! They make you look terrific!
b. It's the newest trend. And just think – you don't owe me anything!
7. Your dog scratches and licks himself in the middle of the living room.a. He's just a show off! He knows we can't do that.
b. He just had an operation; he must still feel those stitches.
c. He's training for the Animalympics.
8. Your dog begs at the dinner table.a. He never does that!
b. He must really like you.
c. He always picks the thinnest person at the table!
9. Your dog barks at each newcomer for several minutes.a. Don't pay any attention to him.
b. He never
usually barks at our guests.
c. What did you say to him?
10. Your large dog jumps up on and lies across the sofa – and your friends. a. Just ignore him.
b. Does he have enough room?
c. Just push him off if he gets too heavy.
