A note from the cat (she is very urban and hip)
Hey dude, we need to talk. Yeah, I heard aboutthe dog's nafarious plot to have me put out, in Winter, no less. And trying to gain the cooperation of the fish too, ganging up on me? Well, I put a stop to that-she was delicious! No fish, now a nice, clean terrium with delightful herbs growing in the bowl.
Unlike, the dog, I don't bother you when you first walk in. I give you some time to settle down and get comfortable before I wander over and rub against you. I never beg at the table, I am contented with the delectable morsels of met you place in my dish. Why should I want your food when I have my own.
The D-O-G complains about me being haughty. Well why not? I AM beautiful, we all know this. The dog doesn't want to admit it, be we all know who is the better looking, with my sleek physique, sensuous movements, and light hops from one spot to another. Of course I'm haughty; my superiority is obvious! Of course I'm allowed to sit, sleep, and stretch out on the bed, while the D-O-G is on the floor. I can purr contentedly, and help you sleep well. What can the D-O-G do?
He complains when I lie down next to him (he is a good heater) and his fellow canines razz him about smelling like C-A-T. Well, you should hear what the girls say about me smelling like D-O-G! Something about wallowing in the gutter… low standards, etc. Who told the D-O-G he smells like flowers, or better yet, fresh salmon?
We live in the modern age, with all kinds of conveniences and advantages. In the old days, the dog let you know if you had visitors, wanted or otherwise. Now with security alarms, the dog is obsolete. Why use a typewriter when you have a computer? Just call the number below and all our d-o-g problems will be solved. Pet adoption works wonders! They even make house calls to remove the offending canine!
Affectionately (sometimes, when I feel like it)